Aragam (Bandipora), July 20: In the wearying age of nuclear families, 35 members of the Bhat family continue to live under a single roof in this Bandipora village. The family shares not only its meals but the joys and sorrows together. They have a common kitchen, where the food is cooked for all the three dozen members under the supervision of the family patriarch.
Despite the presence of fifteen women, thirteen men and seven children under one roof, there are hardly any major disputes in the extended family of 68-year old Muhammad Akram Bhat. “In fact, even trivial issues are sorted out amicably,” says Bhat who can’t even recall the names of all his grandchildren.
The feeling of unity in the family is perceptible when one sees the three Bhat brothers —Muhammad Akram Bhat, Muhammad Munawar Bhat and Muhammad Shaban Bhat — knock at the doors of their eight sons to wake them up for the morning tea, served in a huge trolley in the sitting area of the house.
During crucial moments, when the elder Bhats discuss marriage proposal for a son or a daughter or when they try to iron out small differences, the unity turns out even more apparent.
"I try to defuse tense situations just as a goldsmith moulds gold with a mallet. At the same time, no nonsense is tolerated. Our family is disciplined," says Munawar Bhat.
All decisions, whether financial or social, are taken by the Bhats jointly, but under the overall guidance of the eldest brother Muhammad Akram Bhat. "We don't and can't say no to anything said or decided by the family head," says one of the nephews of Muhammad Akram Bhat.
Interestingly, it is Muhammad Akram Bhat, who deputes the women to kitchen work according to a duty chart formulated by him. "For running the kitchen, we are guided by a duty chart," says a woman member of the family.
Most of the women in the family are well educated and some of them are doing government jobs. Interestingly every woman works according to the work chart assigned by the family head besides attending to her office work.
The family has two MBAs, four MSc women, two MEd women, one Auditor, one Bank Manager, three Medical Assistants and one Agriculture Officer. But the director of the show continues to be middle pass retired Forest Guard Muhammad Akram Bhat.
“We have seven educated women, with MSc and MEd degrees, in the family but all are guided by family rules. We never cross the limits” said one of the daughters-in-law.
What keeps the family together? The answer comes from Muhammad Shaban Bhat (64). "It is through the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), it is love and nothing else which is the binding factor in our family. We don't worry about anything and leave all the decisions first to Almighty Allah and then to our elder brother," says Muhammad Shaban Bhat.
"Overlook small things and don't let any trivial issue snowball into controversy. It is the mantra which is followed in our house. If you want to live a 'king-size' life, keep your wife happy but don’t follow her dictates,” said Muhammad Shaban. "Instead of worrying over worries, just try to find solutions. Keep kids happy. Don't interfere in the lives of family members, especially the women," he goes on to add.
Mornings and evenings are the most cherished moments for the Bhats, as almost all of them sit together in the big kitchen for breakfast and dinner and discuss various issues concerning the family.
Running a medical shop in the village and managing orchards, Bhats pool in their resources including those from the women in government jobs to run the family. “We equally share our profits and losses and all members of the family get money for their day-to-day needs from the family head Muhammad Akram Bhat,” says one of the family members.
All members of the family have resolved to keep their "undivided house" away from petty differences, jealousies and anything which has the potential to split up their treasured "home"https://m.greaterkashmir.com/news/news/35-member-bandipora-family-lives-under-one-roof/99152.html
Despite the presence of fifteen women, thirteen men and seven children under one roof, there are hardly any major disputes in the extended family of 68-year old Muhammad Akram Bhat. “In fact, even trivial issues are sorted out amicably,” says Bhat who can’t even recall the names of all his grandchildren.
The feeling of unity in the family is perceptible when one sees the three Bhat brothers —Muhammad Akram Bhat, Muhammad Munawar Bhat and Muhammad Shaban Bhat — knock at the doors of their eight sons to wake them up for the morning tea, served in a huge trolley in the sitting area of the house.
During crucial moments, when the elder Bhats discuss marriage proposal for a son or a daughter or when they try to iron out small differences, the unity turns out even more apparent.
"I try to defuse tense situations just as a goldsmith moulds gold with a mallet. At the same time, no nonsense is tolerated. Our family is disciplined," says Munawar Bhat.
All decisions, whether financial or social, are taken by the Bhats jointly, but under the overall guidance of the eldest brother Muhammad Akram Bhat. "We don't and can't say no to anything said or decided by the family head," says one of the nephews of Muhammad Akram Bhat.
Interestingly, it is Muhammad Akram Bhat, who deputes the women to kitchen work according to a duty chart formulated by him. "For running the kitchen, we are guided by a duty chart," says a woman member of the family.
Most of the women in the family are well educated and some of them are doing government jobs. Interestingly every woman works according to the work chart assigned by the family head besides attending to her office work.
The family has two MBAs, four MSc women, two MEd women, one Auditor, one Bank Manager, three Medical Assistants and one Agriculture Officer. But the director of the show continues to be middle pass retired Forest Guard Muhammad Akram Bhat.
“We have seven educated women, with MSc and MEd degrees, in the family but all are guided by family rules. We never cross the limits” said one of the daughters-in-law.
What keeps the family together? The answer comes from Muhammad Shaban Bhat (64). "It is through the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), it is love and nothing else which is the binding factor in our family. We don't worry about anything and leave all the decisions first to Almighty Allah and then to our elder brother," says Muhammad Shaban Bhat.
"Overlook small things and don't let any trivial issue snowball into controversy. It is the mantra which is followed in our house. If you want to live a 'king-size' life, keep your wife happy but don’t follow her dictates,” said Muhammad Shaban. "Instead of worrying over worries, just try to find solutions. Keep kids happy. Don't interfere in the lives of family members, especially the women," he goes on to add.
Mornings and evenings are the most cherished moments for the Bhats, as almost all of them sit together in the big kitchen for breakfast and dinner and discuss various issues concerning the family.
Running a medical shop in the village and managing orchards, Bhats pool in their resources including those from the women in government jobs to run the family. “We equally share our profits and losses and all members of the family get money for their day-to-day needs from the family head Muhammad Akram Bhat,” says one of the family members.
All members of the family have resolved to keep their "undivided house" away from petty differences, jealousies and anything which has the potential to split up their treasured "home"https://m.greaterkashmir.com/news/news/35-member-bandipora-family-lives-under-one-roof/99152.html
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